My wife once recounted to me the story of one of the worst dates she'd ever had (not, thankfully, with me, or she wouldn't be my wife now!)
At the restaurant, she found herself seated directly under the air-conditioning vent. It was summer and she hadn't thought to bring a sweater with her, so she sat huddled and shivering through dinner while her date regaled her with details of his life, his work, his hobbies and interests, et cetera, et cetera. This disastrous date serves as a good object lesson. For a successful date, you should be taking note of everything this guy didn't do.
Be Attentive.
Body Language 101: If your date is sitting hunched in her chair, arms clenched tightly around her body, this is a bad sign. If she isn't leaning forward in her chair, hanging rapt upon your every word, back off and let her do some talking. If she complains about being chilly, see if you can do something about it. If you shrug her off with an "I'm comfortable," you're finished.
Take Some Initiative.
Now that you're being attentive to your date, and you notice she is not enjoying herself, do something about it. If she's uncomfortable under the air conditioner vent, offer to switch seats with her. Or ask the restaurant staff about making some accommodation. At the very least, offer her your jacket. And if you really don't know what's bothering her or what to do about it, just ask. Chances are she'll let you know how to make the date more enjoyable for her.
But Do It Nicely.
If you do have to request a different table (or send back your steak, or request a plate of rice without a strand of the chef's hair, thank you), be patient and polite about it. How you treat the wait staff (not to mention how you talk about your family, your ex-wife, your co-workers) is a good indicator of your overall personality. And rudeness is a big turn-off.
Take an Interest In Her.
How does she feel about her job? What does she do in her spare time? Where does she hope to be five years down the road? What's the great passion in her life that she could talk about all night if you let her? If you can't answer at least one of these questions by the end of the date, you've failed. Let her tell you all about herself. Ask questions. Show some interest in her as a unique individual, not just as the next warm body you hope to sleep with.
Let Her Take an Interest In You.
Or to put it more bluntly, shut up about yourself. Give her the chance to ask you about your life, your interests, your passions. Here's a good rule of thumb: if she asks for details about your standings in your fantasy football league, it's a good bet she's really interested in you. If she knows all about it without ever having to ask, it's a good bet she's more interested in whether her fork in your adam's apple would make you shut up.
Relax.
Finally, don't worry too much about trying to impress her. It won't go perfectly; life rarely does. But women generally will give a guy the benefit of the doubt. Remember Disastrous-Date-Guy from the beginning of the article? Even he got a second date before being entirely written off. The point is to get to know something about her, and to let her get to know something about you. Just be your most likeable self, and you should do fine.
Derek A. Smith invites you to learn more about Seducing women by downloading your own FREE copy of the 56 page "Players Guide" packed with information on how to meet, date, and seduce women. There is also a load of information about seducing women on the site. Get your FREE copy at and read many more articles at http://seducingawomansite.com/
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