Secrecy
You walk into a room where you find your spouse reading or sending messages on the cell phone. Immediately, the phone is hidden. It is clear that he wants you to ignore the phone activity and is uncomfortable with your presence.
You notice email is no longer left open and computer devices are turned off when your spouse leaves his home office or the house.
Your spouse seems agitated if you are continuously present in the room.
Distance
A gradual or sudden decrease in conversation and time spent with you.
Your spouse desires to spend more time alone, but you notice that a great deal of "alone time" is spent on the computer or texting.
Defensiveness
When asked about odd behavior, your partner becomes defensive and argumentative.
Your spouse becomes territorial in the home.
Loss of Intimacy
Disinterest in intimacy with you, but there is no evidence of a physical affair.
When you initiate intimacy, your advances are met with rejection and mundane excuses.
The Problem: Poor Communication
Communication is an age-old problem in marriage. Nearly all couples will admit that at times they feel that their spouse is not really listening or interested in the things that concern them most. Since they want to talk about these things, they will go to someone else. Before the days of the internet it was a family member or longtime friend. The internet has changed the "go to" person. This is not to say that emotional attachments do not develop offline. The internet, however, has become the way for people of all ages to make new friends.
There are an unlimited number of chat rooms and other websites to "hook up" with someone to talk to. Usually, people specifically choose a member of the opposite sex, because it is really their spouse that they would prefer to talk with. It is not necessarily their intention to get emotionally tied to the anonymous person online; it happens naturally. Sharing personal details about your life and your innermost feelings with another person breeds intimacy.
The Solution: Listening
Emotional infidelity is driven by the desire to be heard and understood. Emotions are simply about feelings. People want their spouse to know how they "feel." This is a basic human need. More than any other person, we want our spouse to be understanding and compassionate toward our "feelings." It is natural for someone to pull away from a relationship where this need is not being met because it demands gratification.
If you suspect your partner is involved in an emotional affair, understand that sex is not the goal. However, the third party has connected with your spouse's feelings merely by listening with a sensitive ear. Your spouse needs understanding and compassion from you. An emotional attachment can be broken if you will listen attentively, express heartfelt empathy and make spending time with your spouse a priority.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6375954
You walk into a room where you find your spouse reading or sending messages on the cell phone. Immediately, the phone is hidden. It is clear that he wants you to ignore the phone activity and is uncomfortable with your presence.
You notice email is no longer left open and computer devices are turned off when your spouse leaves his home office or the house.
Your spouse seems agitated if you are continuously present in the room.
Distance
A gradual or sudden decrease in conversation and time spent with you.
Your spouse desires to spend more time alone, but you notice that a great deal of "alone time" is spent on the computer or texting.
Defensiveness
When asked about odd behavior, your partner becomes defensive and argumentative.
Your spouse becomes territorial in the home.
Loss of Intimacy
Disinterest in intimacy with you, but there is no evidence of a physical affair.
When you initiate intimacy, your advances are met with rejection and mundane excuses.
The Problem: Poor Communication
Communication is an age-old problem in marriage. Nearly all couples will admit that at times they feel that their spouse is not really listening or interested in the things that concern them most. Since they want to talk about these things, they will go to someone else. Before the days of the internet it was a family member or longtime friend. The internet has changed the "go to" person. This is not to say that emotional attachments do not develop offline. The internet, however, has become the way for people of all ages to make new friends.
There are an unlimited number of chat rooms and other websites to "hook up" with someone to talk to. Usually, people specifically choose a member of the opposite sex, because it is really their spouse that they would prefer to talk with. It is not necessarily their intention to get emotionally tied to the anonymous person online; it happens naturally. Sharing personal details about your life and your innermost feelings with another person breeds intimacy.
The Solution: Listening
Emotional infidelity is driven by the desire to be heard and understood. Emotions are simply about feelings. People want their spouse to know how they "feel." This is a basic human need. More than any other person, we want our spouse to be understanding and compassionate toward our "feelings." It is natural for someone to pull away from a relationship where this need is not being met because it demands gratification.
If you suspect your partner is involved in an emotional affair, understand that sex is not the goal. However, the third party has connected with your spouse's feelings merely by listening with a sensitive ear. Your spouse needs understanding and compassion from you. An emotional attachment can be broken if you will listen attentively, express heartfelt empathy and make spending time with your spouse a priority.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6375954
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