Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Win Your Ex Back - Huge Mistakes You Want to Avoid

Sometimes our relationships end and we are willing to do anything to get them back. Sound familiar? Is this happening to you? Well, the good news is is that many times, we can get the relationship back. We need to be careful though as there are some pretty huge mistakes that we can make if we are not in a positive emotional state. To win your ex back, it's best to give yourself (and your ex) some time before you try to get them back. Here are the mistakes you want to avoid making at all costs:
1. No Grudges. Holding grudges will most likely damage any chances of getting your ex back. No one wants to constantly be reminded of mistakes they may have made, right? So, if you're holding any kind of grudge against your ex, then you need to be willing to let that go and start fresh.

2. No Revenge. Obviously, revenge is a bad idea but sometimes when we are in an emotional state, we may consider some form of revenge on our ex. This is definitely a huge mistake if you want to win your ex back. Basically, you want to put yourself in their shoes, would you want to go back to someone who hurts you with revenge?

3. No Contact. Right after the break up, as hard as it may be for you, it is best to leave your ex alone for awhile. So you want to refrain from calling, texting or emailing them. As I said at the beginning of this article, you want to be in a good emotional state, and it is also better for you if your ex is in a better emotional state. Plus, they may want some time to themselves right now so you don't want to be in "their space" and crowd them. Giving them time away could also be beneficial to you in the sense that they may just start to wonder what you are doing with your time and they may begin to miss you!

4. No Force. You don't want to be forceful towards your ex. For example, if you have anything of theirs in your possession, you don't want to give them a time frame to come pick it up or you'll throw it out. Basically, don't make demands to them or give them ultimatums.

5. No Jealousy. If your ex has started dating again, the last thing you want to do is act jealous in any kind of way. For example, let's say your ex is dating someone, you phone your ex in a jealous rage, or worse yet, you contact the new flame in a jealous rage...do you think your ex is going to be attracted to you because of this or pushed closer to the new flame? Let's just say this behavior will not win your ex back into your life, so please be very careful with any jealous feelings. It is also best for you not to try to make them jealous either. It could make your ex feel as though you have moved on, or it could make them feel like you are playing games with them which isn't a good idea either.

6. No Desperation. Showing any kind of desperation is going to look unattractive to your ex so you want to try to avoid this. I know you may be feeling this way but it is highly recommended that you don't show these feelings towards your ex. Talk to friends and family about these feelings so they can help you deal with them but just not your ex. This includes things like being needy or begging and pleading with your ex. They will think this is very unattractive and annoying behavior and it will send them running in the opposite direction.

7. No Friends/Family/Co-Workers. Contacting anyone your ex is associated with, like their friends, family or co-workers, whether it is to get on their good side or ask about your ex, is a bad idea. It'll more than likely get back to your ex (which they won't appreciate) and the people you are asking will be put in an awkward position and may be bothered by it. The break up is between you and your ex and it's best not to put anyone else in the middle.

So, in the end you want to do the exact opposite of these mistakes to win your ex back into your life. Just play things calmly and maturely and you will stand a very good chance of re-starting your relationship. I wish you all the best!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6290687
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