Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Relationship In Trouble! 3 Signs of a Failing Relationship and What You Can Do About It

If you sense that the relationship you share with your man is slipping through the cracks and your just not sure where it all went wrong, you really need to consider every possible implication.

Before either of you cast the blame or point any fingers, you both need to realize what you truly want out of a relationship to be happy and whether you feel you can find that particular happiness with your partner.
Nobody is perfect, needless to say, and every couple experiences shortcomings and flaws about the person they chose to be with throughout their time together.

However, it is the ability to adapt and accept these shortcomings rather than fight to change them which really makes the difference between a substantial and fulfilling relationship compared to one that is destined to have you feeling unsatisfied.

Below you will find 3 significant reasons why a relationship begins to suffer and what you can do, starting today, to pump new life into its faltering shell.

1. He Begins to Grow Distant

If your man is suddenly distant and non-responsive to your inquisitions than perhaps he isn't being entirely honest.

He could be hiding his feelings from you for several reasons; he could be falling out of love, he could have taken an interest with someone else, he could even be shying away just to avoid an argument.

If he doesn't answer your emails, phone calls, text messages, or even the door, than you need to figure out why his behavior has taken this negative and unproductive turn.

It could be that he has had a sudden change of heart or perhaps he could be terrified of commitment, either way, you need to get down to the bottom of the issue so that no more time is wasted with confusion and uncertainty.

- What You Can Do -

It is possible to sit down and confront your man with what is going on and try to gauge his response. By expressing how you currently feel and the worry that you experience over the thought of losing him, you can significantly make yourself feel better, momentarily.

However, rather than finishing the conversation off with that, you also need to be sure that you ask him similar questions and find out exactly how he feels as well.

Reassure him that you are not trying to judge his decisions (no matter how much they hurt or seem unimportant) you really need to listen and be empathetic so that he knows without a doubt that he was heard and understood.

This will provide a clear landing zone for the both of you to take off from together because once you finally pinpoint the cause of distress you can then take the necessary measures to eliminate them.

WARNING: Be cautious that during your conversation you do not over-analyze or misinterpret the signs that he gives off. Keep a level head and focus on the bigger picture, which is to reunite the love the two of you once felt.

Also, although a conversation can really open and connect the two of you in a very productive way, it is not a magic wand.

By conversing over the issues and dilemmas that either of you are experiencing, it will only bring those issues to the forefront.

Once you can establish the cause behind your rocky relationship you must then make a strong commitment to each other that you will work on improving the love between the two of you from then on so to avoid the same mistreatment from happening again.

2. He Becomes More Irresponsible

If your man begins to disregard the items and events in his life that once made him happy, this should be a serious red flag that something is off.

He may begin to cancel events that he originally had scheduled with friends or he may show up conveniently late to a family function even though you made it clear that it began at noon.

This form of disdain or contempt shows that he is no longer feeling happy with his life, so why should he bother making you or anyone else happy for that matter?

Another example is if he begins to break household rules that he usually used to abide by just to get a reaction out of you, such as staying out into the late hours, or inconveniently leaving the toilet seat up at all times, so on and so forth.

He might be feeling so low about himself that he'll do just about anything in his power to disrespect and disregard the shared authority you both have, or should have, in an equally committed relationship.

This can lead to arguments, emotional outbursts, stress, anxiety, et cetera.

- What You Can Do -

Alas, you cannot physically demand that he change by tying him up and feeding him nothing but bread and water until he promises to cut the charades, but there is actually a better way.

By taking the action provided in the above suggestion (by having a conversation) you can establish the reasoning behind his rude proclamation.

Then, once you have determined why he is feeling and acting the way that he is you can work on making a difference.

Time heals all wounds, so regardless of the heated words, the extremity of the verbal abuse, and the threats made to one another; you can still get back the love and adoration you once felt for each other.

This is only done with time, work, diligence, acceptance, honesty, and a strong commitment to each other through means of support and encouragement.

If this cannot be accomplished then perhaps a break between the two of you is due.

To avoid this, try going out on a date with just you or you and your friends and let him do the same. Once things have settled down and time has eased the tension in the air, you may then make an attempt at opening up and communicating these feelings to each other.

If he truly loves you as he says he does then he will be willing to work with you and do what it takes, especially if he sees you making a similar effort.

3. He Becomes Someone Else Entirely

A man who his feeling slighted by his relationship will sometimes do or say things that seem entirely out of his character.

This is partially due to the fact that he is making a desperate attempt at trying to fit in and feel happy again.

He may feel neglected and uncomfortable around you and so he goes out to do his own thing or something new without even bothering to include you in his plans.

This isn't uncommon for some men to do as doing so helps to make them feel more in control of their lives and their decisions and not so helplessly desperate and/or chaotic with current relationship developments.

- What You Can Do -

It is possible to completely turn this behavior around. Once again, have a heartfelt conversation with him as to why he has taken up some new and peculiar hobbies and if his actions aren't perhaps over-compensating for his lack of a love life.

Meet in the middle in terms of what you both need to bring to the table in order to both feel satisfied at making your partner happy and content.

Ask if you might perhaps be allowed to accompany him on his next outing for this new hobby of his and respect his space if he chooses not to bring you along.

Realize that if a man chooses not to spend every waking hour with his girl, this does not mean that he is not interested in her. Distance can actually bring couples together for after all, how can he truly miss you if he is attached to your hip 24/7?

His new hobby is more than likely a great release for him from the average stress of everyday life. If this is the case, then respect and appreciate his hobby and then go find your own release as well!

The perfect blend between open and honest communication, and the necessary human space and separation between the two of you from time to time, will greatly speed up the process of rekindling the flames.

Figure out what needs to be changed or improved upon in order to salvage your relationship.

Find out if what he needs is more space from you, or more affection and love from you. His new hobby may be a silent outreach to feel more accepted and appreciated elsewhere beings as he is not getting it from you.

Either way, the situation is not a lost cause if you are both willing to make amends.

Do you feel like you are losing him regardless of what you try?

There are other, more effective methods to make him beg for your love instead of vice versa.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6372642
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