Surviving The Affair - Save Your Marriage and Get The Respect And Admiration You Deserve

When surviving an affair, there will be a lot of arguing and disagreements. In fact, maybe you've been facing prior communication issues within your spouse and it may be one of the factors that caused the affair in the first place.

We are going to tell you the two most destructive habits that may be damaging your ability to survive the affair and gain respect and admiration from your spouse. We are also going to reveal which of these habits is the reason why your partner may be ignoring your feelings, has taken advantage of you, and is disrespecting you. These communication techniques, which are used by the majority of married couples, often cause lovers to turn into enemies and result in divorce.

These two common communication toxins are passive communication behaviour and aggressive communication behaviour.

Ask yourself this. While you've been surviving the affair and arguing with your spouse, do you typically feel wrong? When the topic of the affair or other issues in the marriage come up, do you avoid sharing what you're really thinking or feeling? Do you speak to your partner in ways that put yourself down or discredit your opinions? Some signs that you are being a passive communicator are always giving in or retreating and then quietly counter attacking. Being a passive communicator is a big problem for women. We were brought up to be "nice" and "kind" and nurture rather than defend.

Research has proven that couples who are assured a successful marriage have to believe their own thoughts, opinions and expectations are just as valid as their partners. If you are standing up for yourself - great! But are you doing it in a way that doesn't put down your partner?

Engaging in aggressive communication is equally destructive. While surviving the affair have you found yourself insulting your partner and telling them what they should or should not do? When you explain your feelings or thoughts are you doing it at the expense of your spouses feelings and constantly try to prove them wrong? Are you name calling and being obnoxious because you feel justified after what has happened to you?

Therapists agree, that the problem with being an aggressive communicator is your spouse will try to avoid you at all cost. It doesn't allow for any meaningful discussions to take place and therefore the marriage can't be saved.

Those who are destined to succeed in a loving relationship refrain from making a big deal when their partners refuse to meet them half way. They simply hold their ground and continue to insist that their opinion or priorities be given equal consideration.

For most of us this simply doesn't happen. Instead when husbands and wives try to stand up for themselves, they kill good communication dead in its tracks by putting the other person down. If you can start to distinguish your aggressive action or equally destructive lack of passive action, you can start on the road to mending your marriage with a new balanced way of communicating.

While surviving the affair, try taking a balanced approach to your discussions which isn't aggressive or passive. Learning to create a more healthy way to discuss your issues with your spouse is the key to saving your marriage. Become assertive and stand up for yourself. Feel comfortable in expressing your vulnerable feelings and being direct in a healthy way rather than insulting and blowing up. After you learn to become a balanced communicator, you will be more respected and admired by your spouse and your marriage will improve.

Surviving the affair isn't easy but with the right communication you can succeed at saving your marriage!

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