Surviving An Affair: Oh Why Bother? YOU'LL Just Do It Again!
When you first discover an affair, a huge flood of questions often results from the discovery. Some people ask their partner questions like, "How can you do this to me? What were you thinking? You did what? WITH THAT IDIOT? Am I not good enough anymore?" This is a common reaction, and everyone goes through it.
Many of the questions that arise are the first step to recovering from the shock of an affair, but there are some questions that do even more than help you vent and recover your emotional composure after finding out about infidelity.
Completely enraged, most will begin to doubt the viability of the relationship. Many betrayed lovers exclaim, "I'm done. Why bother staying with you anymore? You'll just do this again." That phrase is actually the first step to surviving a relationship that has been hurt from an affair. This is because the first step to surviving a relationship that has been plagued with infidelity is to decide whether you want to survive it alone, or with your current partner.
If you have been betrayed by your lover, it can be difficult to decide whether or not you should bother with resurrecting the relationship. People stay with cheating partners for a variety of reasons. Some stay because of the sheer amount of time that they have spent in the relationship, and feel very intimidated about going out on the dating scene once more. Others truly care about their partners, and feel that it's worth a shot.
Deciding to stay after cheating is a very personal decision, and you shouldn't let other people influence that decision at all - including your partner. It's important to look at the relationship as a whole in order to decide what to do. If your relationship was generally a happy one until the cheating happened, it might be worth a second shot. You shouldn't totally discount a relationship because of a lover's affair.
What many people do not realize about infidelity is that there is no real black and white. Not everyone actively searches for people to cheat on their partners with, and to assume that your lover did this might be a very bad mistake. Many times, people fall in love with others by accident. Ask for the whole story before you decide to leave your husband or wife. What you find out might make you understand their side of the story in a better way.
The most important thing to realize about infidelity is that it can be overcome. Leaving isn't the only option, and staying doesn't show a lack of self-respect. People can return to relationships and have a happily-ever-after if both parties work hard at rekindling trust. And in the end, isn't that the best reason to bother?
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